Surrogacy



Well we are now in the homestretch of the final pregnancy of my ENTIRE LIFE and I could not be more happier!!
It has become harder to sleep, if not impossible.  I seriously cannot wait until I can crawl into bed and lay on my stomach.  I miss it so much!!  Sleeping on my side makes my shoulders hurt and my snoogle is no longer my friend. 
Finley understands what is going on completely.  Not so much.  Finley knows that the baby is not ours and who it belongs to.  Penelope really has no idea at all.  She just copies what her big sister does and says.  They both have babies in their stomachs like mommy.  Finley’s is never going to leave her because it loves her too much and Penelope’s occasionally leaves and flies away in the backyard.  Oh the imagination of little kids!!
I have about 6 weeks until my official due date.  I am proud to say that not once have I had to wear maternity bands.  Although without leggings and a bella band this would not have been possible.  I am at the point where I am so sick of leggings that I don’t know if I will ever wear them again!!!
Lots of people ask if I know what I am having – especially when I have Finley and Penelope with me.  Greg wants me to say that I am not having anything because technically I am not, if that makes sense??  Somebody at walmart asked Finley and Penelope if they were getting a brother or a sister.  This confused Finley who said I have a sister right here.  Then the cashier said oh did mommy already have the baby??  I was like no!!  She just laughed but I saw no humor in the situation.
My back is constantly sore and my pelvis aches all the time.  My doctor said it is because the baby is carrying very low and the pelvic pain is my body prepping itself for labour.  I have had this before as both girls carried very high and I was told both times that had I not had early sections that both would have been late (and HUGE) babies.  I was never worried about going into labour early with Penelope but I am almost positive that it’s gonna happen with this baby.  I am undecided how I feel about this.  On the one hand, it would be great to be done or as I say “free” but the thought of labour scares the crap out of me.  I go back and forth on this all of the time.
I worry that I will have no idea that it’s actually happening and this kid will come in our bathroom or on the side of Macleod Trail as I am going to get Finley from school.  I have heard that labour quickens with each additional baby and this is #3 so it worries me a little bit.  Hopefully this does not happen!
I crave coke and cream soda slurpees all of the time but they give me the worst heartburn!!  I don’t drink them like a slurpee, I have to spoon it out.  Yup I spoon out with a slurpee spoon the entire thing.  I did this with both of mine and as soon as they were born I returned to drinking slurpees the normal way!  I also crave watermelon, canned peaches that are refrigerated and snap peas.  ALthough my craving for snap peas has become a serious addiction.  I buy the largest bags I can find and go through like 3 a week.  That’s a lot of peas and I don’t like to share them.  I am not certain if this is pregnancy related or not but time will tell.  It’s gotten to the point where I seriously can’t stop eating them and they make me sick.  It’s so weird.  It’s like the Lays commercial where they say I bet you can’t eat just one.  And I can’t.  I think Greg hopes it’s a pregnancy thing because he figured out how much we spent on peas a month and it’s a bit excessive….any guesses?!?
I am mostly looking forward to getting back to running, riding my bike, shopping for clothes, sleeping on my stomach, having no problems getting in and out of my bed and bath tub and on and off our couch.  It is tough to pick things up, feed the cats and do most things around the house.  And if it isn’t physically tough then it is just exhausting. All I want to do is sleep but unfortunately my kids, husband and my house don’t allow that to happen.
Obviously I am showing alot and I get alot of congratulations from those who don’t know the situation.  They are super surprised when I tell them “Thanks, but it’s not mine” and its usually in a good way not a negative way.  The question I get asked most is do I worry about the emotional attachment to this child that I am carrying in my belly and the answer is no.  This surprises people but I didn’t even feel attached to my own kids in my belly.  It never became real to me until they were born and truly I don’t want any more children and I am more then happy to hand this little babe over to his own parents who I know are going to be fantastic parents to him. 
The only emotion I really feel is happiness that I am able to provide the most wonderful gift we as humans can ever receive.  I only want for my best friend to feel the unconditional love and completeness that I feel because of my own little family.  I know he is going to a great family full of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who already love him to the moon and back. 
This most likely will be the final update until the babe is born, perhaps I will have a more interesting story then that he came via c-section but maybe not.  Either way, I will let you all know how it goes.
Thanks again for all of your support during this during.  I couldn’t have done it without most of you
xoxox

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