Surrogacy



Baby M was born on May 29th at 3:40am.  He weighed in at a health 6lbs 14oz and was 19 inches long (I think, can’t completely remember).  He is as cute as can be.
How did he come to arrive a week before his already scheduled c-section on June 5th?  Well, let me tell you.
On Tuesday May 28th, I was getting ready to take Finley to school.  I heard a smash in the family room and when I was walking to see what had happened, my feet literally came out from under me and I fell.  HARD.  I was in so much pain that I couldn’t move and had to ask Finley to bring me my iPhone because I thought I was going to have to call somebody to help us.  Eventually I got up and got her to school. 
The pain from falling never really went away.  My back was sore and holy crap the pressure on my tailbone was indescribable.  But eventually there was pain around my belly.  After having a hot bath once Greg got home, I noticed the pain was just not getting any better so I decided to head to Rockyview.  Greg stayed home with the girls because I didn’t want to have to deal with getting babysitters for them if it was all for not.  
I arrived on the 6th floor of the hospital shortly after 7pm.  When you have a fall like I did, they automatically keep you for observation for 4-6 hours regardless of how baby looks on the monitors.  This did not thrill me.  After nearly three hours of laying on a bad with an iPhone with almost no battery, a doctor finally came to look at me.  She felt around and asked questions about my pain and where and how I felt it.  She came to the conclusion that despite baby looked great on the heart monitors and ultrasound, she decided we should take him early because the placenta could have detached and we risked the chance of him dying inside of me.  Clearly a risk I did not want to take – especially since it was not my baby.  So arrangements were made and based on the last time I ate, the earliest I could do the surgery would be around 1am.  Approximately 3 more hours.  Texts and phone calls were made.  The parents and big brother to be headed on the road for their overnight journey, Uncle Brad made his way to our house to stay so  Greg didn’t have to wake the kids up and then he headed to the hospital.
After what felt like forever, we finally headed to the OR at 3am.  I was loaded out on drugs and Baby M came into the world at 3:40am.  It look 40 minutes to pull him out because I have a crap load of scar tissue around my bladder and uterus from Penelope’s c-section so it took a lot of work to get him out.  They then tied my tubes and put me back together again.  I headed to recovery around 430 and was soon joined by Greg and Baby M.  His parents and brother arrived around 530 and were also in the recovery room.  
Once I had feeling in my legs we were moved to recovery and settled in.  Greg went home so Uncle Brad could get to work and so he could get some much needed sleep.  I was feeling pretty good so was optimistic that I would be able to go home the following day.  By dinner time, I had everything attached to me removed and was walking around quite well.  Even better!!  The girls came to visit me a few times that day and had pretty much no interest in the baby whatsoever although Penelope did seem interested when Baby M had his first poopy diaper.
One complication that did arise that day was that I had very low hemoglobin.  Going into surgery my hemoglobin was at 100 and when we finished I was at 84.  When it drops below 80, you have to consider blood transfusions.  This was not good.  Course of action (according to my nurse) was 2 more years of one prenatal vitamin and 2 iron supplements a day and of course lots of red meat and high iron foods.  Easy peasy right.  
As the evening went on, I was getting more and more sore.  I attributed it all to falling, surgery and recovery from surgery.  Turns out I was wrong.  I hadn’t passed any gas since coming to the hospital and it was causing my stomach to distend and pain in my shoulder.  Who knew that pain in your shoulder was due to not being able to pass gas.  I certainly did not.  I started on stool softeners in hopes that this would cure my problem.
Thursday morning came and I still was not feeling great.  I couldn’t eat because I felt full due to some kind of blockage in my bowels.  So I all could do was drink peppermint tea (ewwe), water and apple juice.  The lawyer came and all the documents were signed and now all that was needed was a visit from the pediatrician, nurse and hospital social worker so that Baby M could begin his journey back to SK.  Around 3 or so, it was all done and the new little family was on their way, while I stayed in the hospital waiting to pass gas.  Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it??
Friday consisted of the same thing…just waiting to pass gas.  They were pretty sure there was no real blockage because I wasn’t throwing up bile or anything.  I was on all kind of stool softeners, metamucil like drinks and fibre pills to get the process moving.  It sucked.  I had a rock hard stomach and it was all for the wrong reasons.  I had also tried laying on my left side and pulling my leg up as close to my head as possible, getting on all 4’s and moving my bum in the hour and swaying my belly side to side as well as lots of walking around the ward and hot showers.  Nothing was working, I was in pain and I was beyond frustrated.
Finally at 1:01am on Saturday morning,  I passed gas.  It was far more painful then I possibly imagined and I was still in pain.  I believed that it would magically cure everything but at least it was a start.  It turns out for the next few hours everytime I passed gas, it would be a painful experience but at least it meant I would get to go home.  And sure enough, I was discharged just after lunch and made it home in time for my first bowel movement in a long time.  It’s amazing how much better I felt. Greg dropped me off at home and then headed to Target to pick up my prescriptions.
Yesterday, I had my visit with public health and the nurse turned out to be one of my very fabulous friends and she removed my staples.  That also made a big difference.  
If you are wondering about my hemoglobin, it is still pretty low but they were unable to treat it in the hospital because iron supplements wreak havoc on your bowel system and that was the last thing that i needed at the moment.  Once I am back to being regular, then I will start on more iron supplements for the forseeable future.  
There were two questions that I have been asked since Baby M was born on Wednesday.  One from Greg and the other from lots of other people.
The first question is Greg’s: “Knowing what you do now, would you still do what you did for them”
Answer: Without a doubt.  Yes this delivery wasn’t what I planned but neither was Finley’s and we still went ahead and had Penelope.  Everything that happened to me is all short term problems, problems that diet, exercise, rest and vitamins can fix. Giving my best friend the baby she always wanted but didn’t think she would ever get is worth all of this and more.  
The second question: “Was it hard to give the baby up?”
Answer: No.  Absolutely not.  This baby was never mine to give up.  It was always theirs.  Both Greg and I are happy with the family we have and this did not change that.  Baby M will always be a part of our lives and for that I am grateful.  
I don’t plan on blogging about the surrogacy again as I don’t see any need for it.  So it would be wrong for me to not thank all of my wonderful friends and family who have helped us out at one point or another during the journey.  Without you it would not have been possible.  We are truly blessed to have some of the greatest friends and family both near and far.
But most of all I would be remised if I didn’t thank Greg.  He has been truly most amazing during this whole journey.  He drove me to early morning appointments and ultrasounds.  He filled prescription orders, he listened to me whine and complain while I was getting hormoned up to get pregnant.  He listened to me complain about having no clothes to wear, looking like a whale in Hawaii, my sore back, my sore everything and well he listened me complain about a pregnancy with a baby that wasn’t even his.  He is fantastic.  When it came time for the baby to come, he kept the new parents to be up to date, arranged for kids to be looked after over the first night and the days where he had to be at work, stayed by my side the entire time while in the OR, was a constant visitor and texter while in the hospital and has been very accomodating since getting home on Saturday.  This week he will be juggling all of his daddy duties with most (ok some, but still) mommy duties and will do so until I am solidly back on my feet.  I certainly hit the jack pot 12 years ago when I got him.

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