Tuesday, 2 August 2016

The Bachelorette Finale Recap **Spoiler**

Tonight is finally the season finale of The Bachelorette and the question is does she choose Jordan? Or Robbie? Or neither? 2 hours until we find out.  Just a side note though that neither of these guys even have jobs. One is a former competitive swimmer and one is a former professional football player and I use the term professional quite loosely.

I will not be watching Bachelors in Paradise because I think it is even worse then the show I am watching and I most definitely won't be watching The Bachelor because I can't even begin to imagine watching 26 whiny, crying JoJo's for 2 hours every week so most likely I will be back next summer (maybe) for the next season of The Bachelorette.

It starts out with a very conflicted JoJo because she is in love with both guys and thinks of one when with the other and vice versa.....has there ever been an episode where the bachelor/ette has not been in love with more then one person at the end??

We meet JoJo's family and she tells them that she loves both guys and they seem to be ok with this.  Today is their day to meet Jordan who is like every other guy she has ever dated.  He brings flowers for her mom.  Jordan is definitely very chatty and nervous tonight.  Her mom liked that about him.  He bought them all funny embarrassing hats like his family does.  Some sort of Rodgers tradition.  Although JoJo's mom likes how friendly he is and that he seems genuine, she also thinks that he could be a bit of a playboy with lots of girls.  So they go to chat outside on the balcony.  She asks if he will marry her and he says yes.  JoJo has trust issues and can Jordan handle this??  Soooooooooo boring.  He described it as a "heavy"moment.  Her mom thinks that they are too much alike - always needing to be the centre of attention and that worries her.  Now it is time for Jordan to meet JoJo's dad.  And he also brings up trust issues too.  He just reiterates what he told her mom.  Another dull moment in the show.  How will I survive the whole episode??  He didn't ask her dad for his hand in marriage and that was the worst part he said.  They cut to her saying goodbye to Jordan and then JoJo saying that it just went so well and perfect.  Was she witnessing what I did?  Her parents didn't seem into this at all, not that I could blame them though, it is a strange thing the bachelorette series. Another kiss goodbye.  She seemed convinced that he would ask her dad before proposing and was sure that he had that conversation with him.  I didn't realize that asking for your daughters hand in marriage was still a thing these days.  Do people still do this?  I am quite curious to find out what the statistics are for those who ask and don't ask. When she finds out that he didn't ask for her hand in marriage, will that make a difference in who she picks?

Now it is Robbie's turn to meet the family.  I don't like him so I can't promise that I will even pay attention to this portion of the show.  He is so cheesy and lame.  How he made the final 2 over Chase or Luke is beyond me.  He is very excited to ask her dad for her hand in marriage.  He also brings flowers for JoJo's mom.  She says that Jordan has set the standard high but is interested to assess their relationship.  She thinks he is gentle, soft and she hopes that he loves JoJo.  It is getting so cheesy so I am tuning out.....even more boring then Jordan's segment.  He went into great detail about the first time he told her that he loved her.  OMG!!  Who has this conversation with their parents or in-laws - especially the first time they met them??  Her brothers seem to love him.  Maybe because they are lame like him.  He is meeting with her mom and again talking about trust issues.  **YAWN**  Now comes his conversation with both parents asking them for JoJo's hand in marriage.  Oh and he used Joelle and not JoJo.  Please don't pick him JoJo!!!!!!  Her dad cried and she cried and I don't know if it was about Robbie or the whole bachelorette crap hahahaha.  

JoJo isn't ready to make a decision yet.  She just doesn't know and she emphasized that by repeating it like 6 times before they went to commercial.  

After commercial, JoJo goes back to hang out with her family.  She wants to know what they think of the 2 remaining bachelors.  They loved Robbie and thought he was more husband material then Jordan.  He would be a more logical fit with her.  They loved Jordan too but Robbie was more serious about marriage and family.  They bring up that they liked the way Robbie asked for her hand in marriage and JoJo is surprised when her mom says that no Jordan didn't propose.  She asks again and gets mad at her mom for interrupting her and her dad said he did but in not quite the same way.  She is shocked that Jordan did ask for her hand or blessing because he said it was very important to him.  Her brother questions that the reason she is so protective of Jordan and defending him is because that maybe deep down she wants to end up with him.  She starts crying in JoJo fashion about how confused she is.  She feels that they are team robbie but they say they would embrace either guy she chooses.  She keeps crying.  She is so stressed out and can't even imagine making a decision and she worries if it would be the right decision.  Why is she still so torn?!?!  I don't know if I can take another 90 minutes of this!!!!

Now we are back in the studio with Chris and at the live audience.  Will she be able to make a choice at all??  That is the big question heading into the commercial break.  

We get back from commercial with JoJo and Robbie meeting up for a final date.  She loves both in very different ways.  It is so very hard for her.  She needs to figure out which love is best for her.  And to have a lot more clarity at the end of the date. 

She meets up with Robbie and he has flowers for her.  They have a beautiful beach view in front of them and JoJo decides that they will have a beach day.  He asks if the family would be coming out because he would be cool with that.  OMG Kill me now.  I can't handle this guy.  He's just too much.  They made out in the water and Robbie talked cheesy crap that I have no interest in listening too.  He goes into way tooooooo much detail about how their life would be - right down to the burnt meatloaf and the white wine they would share.  Excuse me while I go vomit.  It's now nighttime and there is more cheesy talk.  I do appreciate the lack of make up on JoJo.  Sometimes I think she wears too much and she is much prettier this way.  The bottom line is that she has no doubts with him.  Just a lifetime of boredom.  OMG and now he has photos of their "moments" on the show thus far.  Seriously who is this guy and what planet did he come from?  He doesn't feel real to me though, it just seems so fake and played out.  ft had to fast forward to the commercial break and now I am caught up to the live telecast so I may die before this show ends haha. 

Now it is time for her last date with Jordan.  Jordan seems way more real to me then Robbie and I am not saying that because I don't like Robbie and I have been team Jordan since the beginning.  He just seems more normal to me.  She loves him and all that he brings to the relationship but she still has fears.  Like for example, why didn't he ask her dad or anyone in her family for their blessing or her hand in marriage?? It confuses her and makes her wonder where he stands.  What does it all mean?!  They go through this amazing cave like thing and it is amazing.  I need to go to Phuket, Thailand like tomorrow!!  He loved meeting her family. He talks about not asking her dad for his blessing and he said it was because he was so sure it was she wanted.  I was a little confused by this.  So was JoJo.  She pushes for a better answer of why he didn't ask and tells him she was really disappointed that he didn't ask.  It makes her doubt if he is really ready.  He says he didn't ask for her hand in marriage because he hadn't met Robbie yet and that basically there was a 50-50 chance that it wouldn't be him and it put him in a awkward position.  Well played Jordan, I agree with that.  She is confused and scared and she doesn't want to be scared.  What a mess.  

After the commercial break, she shows up at Jordan's hotel room and wants him to be honest and upfront.  She is sad that the moment of him asking her family for her hand in marriage and/or blessing is gone now and they can never get that back.  He agrees it sucks.  I think that she is even more confused now.  He reiterates that he only wants to do this ever once and wants what his parents have and he has said that all along.  She believes him when he says this.  He is bummed that he let her down :(.  Despite being so confused, she still makes out with him.  

The live audience feels it will be Jordan who put a ring on her finger and hopefully they are right.  

It is finally proposal day!!!  Does his hair move like ever??  He is as cheesy as ever or even worse then before right now.  He has gone to meet with Neil Lane - jeweller to the stars - to pick out a ring for JoJo.  Does ABC pay for the ring??  Those are some massive rings for 2 unemployed athletes to have to pay for hahahaha.  Now he is writing down his proposal. Or a letter to her I guess.  Blah Blah Blah.

I love Jordan but the pouf has got to go.  It is way to crazy.  He makes a phone call to JoJo's parents who both happen to pick up the line together.  What a coincidence hahaha.  He of course professes he is love for JoJo and then finally asks for their permission to propose to JoJo later tonight.  And of course they are excited by this and they both give their blessing.  Has anybody ever said no to this on this show??  He also writes her a letter so this must be a thing.  Does she get it beforehand?  Now it is his turn to pick a ring.  He is a little nervous and overwhelmed.  Is he trying to pick a better ring then Aaron got for Olivia??  Just kidding haha. They are mostly tacky.  The first ring he picked out is the one he chose and it is the right choice I think.  It is nicer then Robbie's anyway.

Now it is JoJo's turn to spew.  She has a beautiful dress to wear tonight.  Oh and she does get the letters beforehand.  She cries reading Jordan's.  It was very sweet and not as cheesy as I imagine Robbie's will be.  And of course she is crying again but is happy to hear that he talked to his parents.  I didn't listen to Robbie's letter.  

Now both guys head to wherever it is that JoJo is so can have their dreams come true and the other left brokenhearted.  So many emotions for JoJo.  

Robbie meets up with Chris first.  He is convinced that he will be picked.  He has a heartfelt speech ready to go and he is so nervous.  It is as cheesy as ever.  His cheese factor is like outta this world high.  She stops him before he proposes to her because she doesn't want to take that moment from him.  She wanted it to be him but it isn't.  She loves him but her heart is somewhere else.  He is visibly upset.  She walks with him back to Chris to say a final goodbye.  She cries and apologizes and he says nothing while trying not to cry.  He handled it wayyyyyy better then others have done.  Namely Chase and Luke.  He is really confused and upset about it.  

Will Jordan propose??  Will JoJo say yes??  Jordan arrives and he is looking pretty hot even with the pouf.  She had her makeup re-done so you can't tell she just had another cry fest.  Now it is his turn for his proposal.  Will she let him get down on one knee?  Hahahahahha love doesn't need to have scripts.....you are on the bachelorette dude....it's all scripted.  She told him that she loves him so much and she has been waiting to forever to tell him that.  And now he is down on one knee.  She said YES!!!!  My pick won!!  Yay Team Jordan.  I think the rose is kinda pointless at this point haha. 

But are they still even together??  Does she regret this?  Does he? We sill find out soon on After the Final Rose.  

Robby is up first on the after show special.  He can't still be upset over it?  It has been 3 months since it happened.  He is confused, disappointed but not frustrated.  Still cheesy as ever.  And boring.  He actually thought that she had already sent Jordan back to the USA.  He is handling it very well and respectful - kudos to him.  

JoJo comes out and looks like she has way more hair then she did earlier.  Is she still wearing Jordan's ring??  I can't see.  She is wearing too much make up.  Oh she is wearing the engagement ring so they haven't broken up yet as per all the gossip sites that she is sharing on Facebook.  Unless they are going to announce it later on tonight that they broke up.  He thinks that it should have been him.  Is it more clear to her now about why it didn't work between them.  Her heart belonged to Jordan and the love she had with Jordan wasn't the same that she had with him.  She had everything she wanted with Jordan at the end of the day and that is that.  She is so happy right now and everything worked out the way it was supposed to.  

Hahaha to Chad pushing for him to be the next bachelor.  He is an interesting guy haha.  I think it will be Luke.  

JoJo doesn't believe any of the rumours that have surfaced about Jordan but that it still sucks to hear and see it being printed and said.  

It's time for a JoJo and Jordan reunion!  The ring is gorgeous.  They are doing great post bachelorette despite not seeing each other in nearly 3 months.  They never ever have come close to breaking up at all.  This whole after the rose ceremony is so boring.  It is the same crap just irritated in every different way they could have thought of.  

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